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“Do not trust the people you work with. Go in, do your work, and get out. Your colleagues and your managers do not care about you. They only care about the company.”
One of my colleagues in her twenties shared a video she’d seen on social media and asked my thoughts. She explained that the above are common sentiments amongst the younger generations in the workforce. I watched the video and scrolled through countless supportive comments and personal stories of people who felt betrayed after trusting their leaders or colleagues.
I don’t doubt these experiences are real, and I was curious to explore another perspective to them with her. As leaders, it’s our responsibility to foster psychologically safe environments where employees feel valued and supported. So, I think it is interesting to see such polarizing experiences with this responsibility. It made me wonder: Why do people feel so misled?
Psychological Safety as a Cornerstone
Psychological safety is a cornerstone of successful workplaces. It’s about creating an environment where employees can speak up, make mistakes, and be themselves without fear. Yet, there’s a growing narrative online that workplaces are inherently untrustworthy: “Your job is just your job. Don’t trust anyone there. Managers, and even HR, work for the company and not for you.” While I understand where this frustration comes from, I do not believe it is the full picture or story. It overlooks the critical social contract between leaders and employees, a contract that’s built on trust and psychological safety.
But why is this “social contract” and trust in leadership so important? According to the Harvard Business Review, people at high-trust companies experience 74% less stress, 50% higher productivity, and 76% more engagement compared to those in low-trust environments. Clearly, trust is a game-changer for organizational success.
The Social Contract of Leadership
Think of the “social contract” as the unspoken understanding that guides relationships. It’s like the societal rule that we wait our turn in line for coffee. There’s no law against cutting in line, but it’s generally frowned upon and stirs feathers. In the workplace, this contract goes beyond formal employment agreements to include mutual respect and shared expectations about how we work together.
The social contract bridges organizational needs and individual well-being, creating conditions for employees to thrive. However, everyone brings their own assumptions to work, which are shaped by personal history, experiences, and culture. It’s up to leaders to uncover and align these expectations through communication. For example, when someone steps into a new role, what’s the implied agreement between them and their leader? Leaders need to create conditions where employees feel they can succeed, even when balancing the often-conflicting needs of the organization, the team, and their own responsibilities.
For a lot of leaders, accountability can feel like it clashes with psychological safety — or at least makes it more complicated. But in reality, accountability and psychological safety go hand in hand. When expectations and boundaries are clear, it creates a sense of stability and gives people the space to thrive. No one has to waste energy guessing where the lines are, and that clarity helps build trust.
Accountability isn’t a one-size-fits-all thing — it’s more of a spectrum. It might look like checking in with someone (“How’s it going today?”) or having a tougher conversation about where things didn’t quite hit the mark. Handling these moments thoughtfully can actually build safety, not break it. Most of the time, issues come from us as leaders — our discomfort, assumptions, or fear of upsetting someone. That fear can make us avoid the conversations we really need to have.
The good news? Honest, intentional communication can bridge the gap. Teams thrive when they feel heard and included in decisions, even while knowing the leader has the final say. Tough decisions don’t have to erode trust if they’re handled with openness and care. That balance of clear accountability and genuine psychological safety is the foundation of strong, engaged teams.
Depositing into the Emotional Bank Account
Remember the last time you made a big purchase on your credit card? Maybe it was during the holidays, buying gifts for family and friends. If you’ve built good credit, it’s no problem, the bank trusts you’ll pay it off. But if you’re maxed out, every new charge adds stress. The same concept applies to relationships.
The “emotional bank account” is an analogy I use to explain workplace relationships. Every interaction between a leader and their team is either a deposit or a withdrawal. Positive actions – like recognizing achievements or showing empathy – are deposits. Negative actions – like delivering bad news or making tough decisions – are withdrawals.
Keeping a positive balance in the emotional bank account is crucial because withdrawals are inevitable. For example, if an employee makes a mistake, a leader might need to address it. Even if the leader has consistently built trust, the employee may fixate on the negative interaction.
This is where vulnerability, open communication, and consistent support come in. These behaviours deposit trust into the emotional bank account. For example, if a leader regularly demonstrates care and support, their team is more likely to trust them when challenging situations arise.
To maintain a positive balance, leaders should “go one level deeper” with their teams. This means taking time to understand each individual’s preferences, values, and challenges. Showing genuine care not only builds trust but also creates a thriving workplace culture.
Repairing and Building Trust
No leader is perfect, and withdrawals from the emotional bank account are inevitable. Sometimes these withdrawals are intentional, like implementing a new shift schedule. Other times, they’re unintentional, such as making a mistake. For intentional withdrawals, what matters most is how leaders navigate the process — creating space to hear people’s thoughts, experiences, and feelings while being clear and honest throughout.
When it comes to unintentional withdrawals, the focus shifts to repairing relationships. Rebuilding trust requires leaders to acknowledge their mistakes, show vulnerability, and commit to making things right.
Many of us have been in situations where we react emotionally during a tense conversation that might unintentionally damage trust. Good leaders know that apologizing and revisiting the conversation a few hours, or even days later, with a calmer mindset not only demonstrates accountability but also respect. Taking responsibility for mistakes and emotionally charged decisions strengthens relationships rather than diminishing them.
Leaders can also proactively repair trust by:
Keeping communication open and addressing concerns early.
Checking in with team members after delivering tough news to show they value their perspective and well-being.
Over time, these behaviours reinforce the social contract and help to ensure trust remains intact, even during inevitably difficult times.
Trust and Psychological Safety are a Work in Progress
Trust and psychological safety go hand in hand, but they aren’t built overnight. They require consistent effort, open communication, and a commitment to understanding and supporting others. Leaders need to navigate the delicate balance between fostering safety and upholding accountability. This involves building relationships, making intentional deposits into emotional bank accounts, and repairing trust when necessary.
By creating environments where employees feel valued and safe, leaders are able to guide innovation and success within their teams.